Tonight, I am yearning for her.
She's myself in the skin of another.
I feel deeply lonely in this long wait.
When will her glow from darkness emerge?
My first marriage was my second chance.
My second marriage was my third.
Now I desperately await her, my first.
Each moment without her is empty.
Such moments are of shallow soul.
They are dimly filled with diluted life.
I feel listless, like in a waiting room.
How can magazines hold my interest?
The most important moment of my life dangles.
It awaits, awaits, awaits ... awaits, awaits what event?
I am so frustrated, I don't even want to know !
I just feel like screaming a primal scream.
I hope it vibrates across the seas of cosmic feeling,
Until it reaches her heart and turns her in my direction.
If all I seek is a warm body, I wouldn't be so broken,
But I seek my very soul. Where is she already?
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FaceBook Comments:
ReplyDeleteBatya: Be patient
Choni : Thank you for caring Batya.
Choni : I am deeply touched.
Cheryl : Wow!! Thank you for sharing this, Choni !! That's one powerful 'outcry'.
Choni : What else can I do? How is life without one's soul mate really life?
Yael : She will hear you and hears you even now. Listen for her voice in the wind and send her your love through the moon. Her journey is as arduous as yours.
Choni : Thank you Holy Sister for the encouragement. I will do as you say. If you can advise me further I will always appreciate it.
Maurice: Sometimes she has been in front of us invisible until the time is right.
Choni : That's often the case.
Wendy : Oh my!
Choni : Thank you for reading and sharing your reaction.
Wendy : This is my most favorite thing you have written so far!
Choni : Wow! I never expected that.
Wendy : It is so MUCH that I cannot find the words to describe how wonderful it is.
Liza : Let what you're searching for, in completeness, be, within yourself. Feel the joy of what you imagine, and for real. Love yourself for knowing what you long for. Let it be but bring it within yourself. If you practice this then you will forget loneliness and will feel nothing but jot being with yourself. Then your other half will appear and you'll know without a doubt that what you were searching was and is within yourself.
Choni : Thank you my dear friend and advisor for detailing a spiritual exercise that I can do to help myself and her situation too. This is very valuable. :)
Liza : I meant joy. Thank you for sharing such important feelings Choni. The longing for union and Love is the first step of society.
Shoshi : Amazing words flowing from your heart & soul! How many of us can be brave enough to share words like this? Choni...you are one to look up to with the highest respect !
Choni : Thank you Shoshi for seeing a potential in myself which I have not yet noticed. I never thought of myself as brave per se. It's nice to learn about myself through the eyes of another. It's like seeing a nice aspect of myself in the mirror.
Patty : Your bershert awaits when you least expect it.
Choni : Thank you Patty for your blessing. Each one is truly precious. We can through prayers and blessings improve each other's reality.
Choni : Amen! :)
Eric : Beautiful expression; beautiful poem.
I know how you feel. Believe me. Sending good thoughts that you will meet a wonderful woman soon.
Choni : Thank you Eric for sending positive energy and words of support. People who shared one's situation can really help change it, even with their prayers alone, as their hearts are more fully into the prayers.