Going through a divorce is not easy and this morning some pretty dark thoughts crossed my mind that were difficult to shake. To regain control and balance, I kept on repeating mentally a mantra from the "Book of Creation", "If your heart runs return to Oneness."
When my mind was attuned, I reminded myself what Rabbi Moshe Cordovaro teaches in "Tomer Devorah" that the Holy One's mind is only occupied with Torah and kindness. If I want my mind to be aligned with my Creator's mind, I too should either be thinking Torah or kindness. This dark stuff is a spiritual misalignment. With that I began to contemplate a personal message in the weekly Torah portion.
What I got out of the Torah portion is that there are certain people who are like Levites. The holiness of the Torah naturally resonates with them. They don't need to work themselves over to taste the sweetness in the message of the Torah. It comes naturally, not as an acquired taste. Accordingly, they just naturally settle close to the revelation of Oneness, housed in the Tabernacle.
Then there are Israelites. They need more work. They don't always taste the sweetness of Torah as easily as a Levite. They may more naturally taste the pleasures of the world, like the wayward wife and her lover. After seeing this, they may need to step aside in spiritual reflection, like the nazarite. Only then, when their outlook on earthly pleasures matures, can they settle in their homes around the the revelation of Oneness, housed in the Tabernacle. Only then the princes of the Israelite tribes bring gift offering.
In the reverie of this reflection I remembered classmates in Yeshiva elementary school who naturally took to the Torah lessons, leaving me the day dreamer, struggling with boredom, wondering, "What do they find so interesting?"
I guess they were Levites and I am an Israelite. My path in serving my Creator is longer and more circuitous. However, at the end of the Torah portion the Creator only spoke to Moses in prophecy from between the two cherubims after the entire nation attained spiritual alignment; thereby, validating everyone's path. He waited for all His children to come home.