Holy Cravings

We are now in the Jewish month of Elul, a month designated for spiritual self improvement and growth in preparation for Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. I just encountered a unique observation about myself, which embodies for me most of my personal Elul experience for this season.

In the midst of studying Torah with a study partner, we conversed on the topic of spiritual struggles and it simply dawned on me that a person needs to identify and identify with his/her personal holy cravings. Just as a person has unhealthy cravings, so too s/he has holy ones as well. There’s no negative without at least an equal positive and cravings are no exception to this pervasive pattern.

I am sure that everyone has a unique set of holy cravings. For example, high on my long list includes immersion in the study of the Matok M’Dvash version of the Zohar and the Rabbi Shalom Ber of Lubavitch discourse series for the Jewish year 5659. Also included, is teaching Torah, initiating fresh Torah insights, protracted meditation, heartfelt prayer, writing deeply and helping people in need.    

What I discovered about myself is that I unconsciously practiced a technique to undermine my own draw to unhealthy cravings by simply identifying more intensely with my holy cravings. Even if it’s ideal to avoid all cravings, it’s sometimes difficult to pull oneself entirely away from their allure. However, one might still be free to choose which set of cravings to identify with.

This can be compared to a hungry person sitting in a restaurant. It’s true that s/he will most likely eat and is fully expected to. Still, s/he does not necessarily need to choose an unhealthy dish, when there’s a vast selection of healthy ones.

I am extremely thankful to the Creator for bringing to conscious awareness what I was unconsciously doing. Firstly, it positively impacts my self image. When I was undergoing this process subconsciously, essentially I thought of myself as a “sinner” who just got a “lucky break” and was simply distracted from pursuing temptation  by unexpected Divine intervention. Now, I see myself as a good person who's on the path of identifying with his inner goodness and is open to the lure of the holy. What a difference!

Secondly, as long as the process was subconscious, there was not able to wield it as freely. I felt like Benjamin Franklin who had to await a rain storm for lightening to fill his leyden jars with the electricity to a high capacity. He could not generate anything close to that level on his own. Similarly, I had to passively await a flow of vaguely identified holiness to offset the unhealthy cravings I squirmed in. Now, I can make a powerful choice to strongly identify with my better self. I want to make this self my homebase and build on it even further. Now I know that I can choose to live inside my own spiritual home built from the bricks and mortar of holy cravings.

  

בB

It’s lovely to just “be” in the moment. Speaking of “be”, I think of the letter “b” which is ב in Hebrew, the very first letter of our Torah. The letter ב means “home”. This letter comes in two forms, with a dot floating in the center or without one; symbolizing a “home” whether inhabited or uninhabited.

The simple reason why the Torah begins with ב is to teach us that the Torah is about making a “home” ~ a “home” for people ~ a “home” for Divine Lights ~ a “home” for the Divine Presence. Once a “home” is established, we can move towards the messianic book of the Torah which begins with the letter א, the first letter of the Torah’s alphabet and the first letter of the Hebrew word for “light”, “Ohr” ~ אור.

Normally, one may think of higher spiritual lights, in a state of unfettered freedom, as the ideal “be” environment. Here, deep serenity is imagined to prevail. Here, the Creator’s Oneness illuminates, binding opposites and resolving paradox by dissolving limitation. However, this is only true for those already dwelling on those levels, not for the denizens of lower realms looking up at lights too high for their own level. The reason peace and bliss exists on those higher levels is because they too have “homes”, just ones which for them are level appropriate. Their “homes” are unbroken, spiritual domains where domestic harmony prevails. Any discussion of domestic disharmony reported in the Zohar is not about those higher levels themselves. It’s about their relationship with us. They show us a face of disharmony when we are unworthy. We don’t connect the cosmic couple. They are already connected. We connect their connection to us.

In a sense even the Creator Himself has a “home”. As Ultimate Oneness, He’s at once the Ultimate Cosmic Home and its Sole Inhabitant. By Him, both are Seamlessly One and the same ~ with no distinction between them. Being at once, Home and Inhabitant must be the ultimate frictionless state; so gentle, so settled, so serene ~ so blissful. So ב or “home” is literally to “b” or “be”.

  

"""Radiant""""

If wallowing in dirt makes one dirty, then certainly wallowing in spiritual light makes one radiant.

Teach Freely

We Jews have a tradition that the Creator granted Moses his prophecy mainly for the sake of teaching the people. Like Moses, you never know for whose sake you were taught what you were taught. So it's wise to be generous with teaching others. 

For all you know, you might be just the agent designed to pass on a message to someone who can make better use of it than yourself. Still, don't feel dejected. Even if it seems like you were only intended as the straw for someone else's drink, with straws some drops always adhere to the walls. So, obviously some of the message was intended for you as well.

The Music of Words

Poetry flows through my veins,

It is the way words do song.

Human voices sing melodies,

Words offer song in poetry.

The Infinite Light parted,

Exposed a finite clearing.

Here, the letters first danced,

Uniting, forging potent words;

Brightened vessels bearing souls,

Lights in concrete expression.

High energy can't be dry n' pale,

It can't escape the lyrical.

So prophets let loose in poetry,

Moses and Isaiah spoke prose.

They spoke the music of words,

As the Creator Himself had.

The whole world is His poem,

Just find your own within His.

              ~ O ~

A Little Miracle for a Little Boy

My nine year old son is enjoying a Lubavitch sleep away camp in the Catskill Mountains – a resort area in a very country setting. No doubt besides sports, refreshments, games, trips and daily Torah study, he’s also taught about the great spiritual accomplishment and deeds of the Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson o.b.m., the movement’s latest Grand Rabbi. Though he passed away some twenty years ago, his spiritual influence on Jewish life all over is very much alive and well.

On visiting day, the other week, I took him off campgrounds. We picked up his sister, my eleven year old daughter, from her sleep away camp down a winding country road. Then we enjoyed a family outing in a small town which sports a row of kosher restaurants and general Jewish shopping. After I dined them on lavish ice cream sundaes, I took them to a Judaica bookstore and allowed each child to select a book.

My daughter didn’t particularly love the selection, largely because she’s a fast reader and didn’t want to end up with anything whose reading pleasure wouldn’t linger. However, despite her concerns, she settled on a book pretty easily.

My son’s selection effort was more dramatic. He insisted that he wanted a book about the Rabbi Schneerson. The only problem was that all such books in stock were well above his reading level. So he came up with a secondary option, a comic book. He picked one up from a selection styled after graphic novel, but, designed to convey timeless Torah lessons or poignant moments in Jewish history. We brought his book to the counter. Right before I purchased it I noticed its subtitle, “How the Lubavitcher Rebbe Saved the Jews of Soviet Union from Destruction”.

A smile lit up my face. I turned to my son and exclaimed, “What an unexpected miracle! You wanted a book about the Lubavitcher Rebbe. Look how the Creator cherished your desire. He brought you to the kind of book you sought, one tailor made just for you.”

The Talmud teaches,” Those who seek holiness are aided from Above.”

Future Male/Female Dynamic

Traditionally speaking, Kabbalah teaches that male means giving and female means receiving. The Lubavitcher Rebbe explained that while giver/receiver are sufficient as descriptions of male/female roles before the Messiah arrives, during the messianic era these traditional roles will change and the giver/receiver paradigm won't hold - neither cosmically nor personally.

As a whole, the messianic era will be characterized by greater equality on every level, including gender. Since giver and receiver are unequal roles, they are out of character with a messianic era. Obviously, male/female will continue to exist, but along different lines. For a while I wondered what could a messianic era male/female relationship look like.

My thoughts took me back to the way Rabbi Bachya Ibn Pequda explained the Creator's Oneness. Obviously, anything about the Creator cannot be described directly. The closest one can get to a description of the Creator is to describe what He's not, rather than what He is. The old term for this kind of description is “negative theology”. In common contemporary parlance it’s called, "process of elimination".

What Rabbi Bachya explained the Creator’s Oneness by explaining that He’s not multiple. He eliminated multiplicity by explaining that any oneness humans can conceive of is composed of parts. Even the smallest seemingly indivisible item at the very least has a beginning, middle and end - i.e. it can be conceptually segmented. Even such subtle segmentation does not apply to the Creator - as His Oneness must be absolutely real and a oneness composed of parts is not ultimately real.   

From Oneness, Rabbi Bachya explains the Creator’s Infinity in a way which ends up eliminating limitation. He explains that since the Creator’s Oneness is absolutely seamless, He has no beginning, middle or end. A Being with no beginning, middle or end has no limits and by definition is Infinite (which also literally means “not finite” - an eliminative description). So the Creator is at once Seamlessly One and Absolutely Infinity. In Him, Oneness and Infinity are the same. It’s our minds which divide them into two concepts.

It occurred to me that the Creator's Infinity and Oneness is the very earliest possible root for any version of duality echoing throughout the vast and varied levels of His creation. Since what's male in creation tends towards outer growth and expansion, maleness is an echo of Infinity. Since what's female in creation tends towards inner growth and building inner space, femininity is echo of Oneness.

Therefore it seems to me that in the messianic era, a couple's union will be one merging the forces of inner and outer growth into a singular whole. It would stand to reason that as we draw closer to this era, more and more couples will bask in the light of this new paradigm.

This does not mean that women will be confined to the home and men only venture into the wider world. That’s actually part of the pre-messianic inequality. What it means is really equal access for both genders to move about in both domains - inner and outer. However, when a females venture into the outer domain, they will bring with them a sensitivity and understanding which comes from being denizens of life’s inner domains. This can be compared to an immigrant who opens to restaurant to bring her native culinary traditions to her adopted country; thereby, enriching her new locale with something uniquely special.

Similarly, when males venture into the inner domain, they bring with them the long range focus and vision which comes from being native to life’s outer domain. This can be compared to a psychologist/life coach who ventures into a client’s feelings, yearnings and dreams in order to shape them into long range life goals and accomplishments.  

Of course, long term exposure builds life experience which works on one’s overall skill sets. So over time, females can feel comfortably at home venturing into the outer world and males venturing into the inner world. In any event, since gender tends to be a range and people are vastly varied, very often archetypal generalizations don’t neatly fit individuals - an amazing reminder of each individual’s special uniqueness. Our Creator shaped us from a place beyond books and cookie cutter academic styled definitions.

   

(This is a brief synopsis of the main points of an essay I wrote a few years ago called "Future Couple". The full length version is available on my blog.)